FRANCOISE
Bonjour mes amis! Je suis Francoise, a classic 'French Pumpkin.' Emphasis on classic.  I know that my bumpy face is frequently mistaken for Louie Quatorze (in his later years) but I would much prefer you confused me with someone a bit more contemporary like, perhaps, Gerard Depardieu or even Coco Chanel. (We pumpkins are not gender conscious or gender specific.) You Americans are a funny lot. I am told that at least once a year, you take your vegetables from the kitchen and place them outside your domicile. Pas non! Whatever for? Well, c'est la vie. Please adopt me before some Hollywood agent signs my good looks to a trois-picture deal. For you, mon amie, I am only $25. Voila!
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Adopt me s'il vous plait! Merci.
Adopt me s'il vous plait! Merci.